Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Everyone, good to be here.
[00:00:04] Glad to see you guys are here.
[00:00:07] We are in a five part series. I know we have some college kids home and so you might not be all caught up. So I'll give us a little recap of the series so far.
[00:00:19] We're in a series called why Do I Exist?
[00:00:22] And we've been looking at the Westminster Catechism for.
[00:00:27] And it says, what is man's chief end?
[00:00:30] It says man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.
[00:00:36] And so we've been breaking this down for the past few.
[00:00:40] I was gonna say weeks, but I think it's been over a month now. Yeah.
[00:00:43] And so the first week we talked about if we wanna know how to glorify God, we have to first understand what is the glory of God.
[00:00:52] And so we went over the glory of God and all the ways that we can look to his shining attributes.
[00:00:59] And then the second time we met, we looked at if our chief end is to glorify God, how do I do it? What are the practical ways I can glorify God in my life?
[00:01:10] And then the third week we talked about what does it look like to enjoy God?
[00:01:17] And now tonight, I want to hit on how can we do these things when we're in a season of suffering?
[00:01:28] How can we glorify God?
[00:01:32] How can we enjoy Him? How can we find joy in him when we're just in a season of struggle and pain and suffering?
[00:01:45] Because the truth is, no one can escape the reality of suffering.
[00:01:51] It's something we all experience.
[00:01:54] It's one of the most challenging questions that we face.
[00:01:58] And tonight I wanted to sit down and talk about it like we're friends having coffee.
[00:02:08] Because the truth is, I don't have one answer to this question.
[00:02:15] And I look out into this room and I see you guys and I know some of your stories.
[00:02:25] I know what you're going through privately, things that people don't even know about.
[00:02:35] And you're experiencing a pain that hurts.
[00:02:43] When I look at all of you, they're all different.
[00:02:47] There's not one answer to the problem of suffering because there's not just one kind of suffering.
[00:02:55] And I think that this problem has been the source for why a lot of people have stepped away from God.
[00:03:06] I've heard so many ask the question, why would a good God allow suffering?
[00:03:15] And we look out into the world and we look internally in our own life, and we see pain and suffering and heartbreak.
[00:03:27] And we ask, why would God allow this?
[00:03:31] Why is this happening to me?
[00:03:34] Why Is this happening to them?
[00:03:38] And we question his goodness.
[00:03:42] And so tonight I want to look at a passage that is going to be our guide in how we're going to look at this.
[00:03:50] It's going to guide our thinking. And so if you have your Bible, you can turn to the book of James.
[00:03:56] It's in the New Testament near the end.
[00:03:59] And we're going to look at chapter one, starting at verse two.
[00:04:03] Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
[00:04:14] And let endurance have its full effect so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.
[00:04:23] Kyle, if you could turn it back to the first part of that verse, consider it a great joy. I want to look at this part.
[00:04:30] Consider it a great joy whenever you experience various trials.
[00:04:37] I think we have the wrong definition of joy.
[00:04:42] I think sometimes we think that joy means cheerful and we think that joy means happy elated.
[00:04:55] But I don't think that's what this means in this context.
[00:05:00] I believe that joy can coexist with grief.
[00:05:06] I believe that joy can coexist with suffering, that joy can coexist with, with sorrow.
[00:05:16] And so I want to look at joy through this lens tonight.
[00:05:22] Joy is an inner well being.
[00:05:25] I think I have it on my slides. Joy is an inner well being, a contentment of soul.
[00:05:32] The second way I want to look at joy.
[00:05:35] Joy is a condition that can coexist with suffering and it's rooted in hope.
[00:05:45] The third one, joy, is a powerful inner strength, a response to God's grace making joy's opposite hopelessness, not sadness.
[00:05:58] I don't think the opposite of joy is sadness.
[00:06:04] I think that you can experience joy and be sad at the same time.
[00:06:11] The opposite of joy, I believe, is hopelessness.
[00:06:16] And so tonight I want to look through this lens.
[00:06:19] This is the joy that I'm talking about. When we say we're going to find joy in our suffering, it's a sturdiness, it's a contentment, it's a peace in chaos.
[00:06:34] This type of joy says even if everything on the outside is painful, in my soul, I'm okay, I will not be shaken by the suffering around me. I will remain content, I will grieve, I will be sad, I will feel what's appropriate for me to feel. But there's going to be a strength in my character, there's going to be a hope that I cling to.
[00:07:01] And when I look out into the world, what I recognize is two main types of suffering.
[00:07:09] And so I want to look at both of those. Tonight, we're going to talk about them separately.
[00:07:15] We have controllable suffering and uncontrollable suffering.
[00:07:22] And I see controllable suffering is the things that we can do to get our life back in a better spot, in the areas that we can take responsibility for, the areas where we can take accountability and change the situation.
[00:07:42] But uncontrollable suffering, that suffering is the areas that we can't change, the areas that we have no control over, the things that happen to us that are unfair, that are absurd without reason.
[00:08:06] And so I want to look at these two types tonight, and the first one I want to look at is uncontrollable suffering, the suffering that we can't change.
[00:08:19] At the beginning of 2023, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant with our baby girl, Selah. And I talk about her a lot because she's 100% of my life. And so all my stories are from her.
[00:08:33] And we had been married for about four years, and we had just bought our first house, and we were just so excited. It was such a fun time in our life.
[00:08:44] And I remember the day I found out, I called my sister and I was like, tay, you've got to come over here. I don't even know what I'm looking at. Can you just confirm that all five of these tests do, in fact, say positive?
[00:08:57] And then before she got there, I went and bought three more just to make sure that it was right.
[00:09:04] And so we cried together, and we went to the store and we bought gifts for the people in my life so that I can share the news with them. And we made a plan for how I would tell everybody.
[00:09:15] And that night was just so awesome. It was so fun. It was just full of pure happiness.
[00:09:24] And there's this Christian thinker named John Lennox.
[00:09:29] And I really like the way that he describes life. I think it's really to the point.
[00:09:35] And he describes life like this. He says when he looks into the world, he sees beauty in bombs.
[00:09:44] When we look at the beauty of this planet, the feeling we get when we experience visiting the Grand Canyon, the feeling you get when you fall in love with somebody, the experience you have when you watch your kids open gifts on Christmas morning.
[00:10:01] The beauty of laughing with your family, the beauty of getting coffee with an old friend and staying at the cafe for five hours. The beauty of seeing generosity in the world. We see so much beauty in the world, but then we also see bombs, moments that make your body shake, moments that bring you to your knees.
[00:10:31] A fear that just completely rattles you.
[00:10:37] And after I found out I was pregnant, I had one of those moments.
[00:10:43] A few weeks into my pregnancy.
[00:10:46] Something happened that led me to believe I might be losing the baby.
[00:10:52] And it was the most real fear I've ever experienced.
[00:11:00] It was late at night, and so I couldn't call a doctor or friend.
[00:11:06] I felt alone and helpless, and it just felt completely out of my control.
[00:11:15] And so I woke up my husband, and we stayed up late talking and praying.
[00:11:20] And we sat together, afraid.
[00:11:24] We sat together knowing we had to be patient and wait till the morning.
[00:11:28] And it was just this uncontrollable suffering.
[00:11:34] I couldn't do anything to change it. I couldn't do anything to fix it. It was just out of my control.
[00:11:41] Are you familiar with this kind of suffering?
[00:11:46] Maybe for you, it's a diagnosis. For someone that you love, they received a diagnosis that you don't even know how to comprehend.
[00:11:57] News you never thought you'd have to hear.
[00:12:01] Or maybe for you, you lost somebody that you just don't know how to live without.
[00:12:08] Maybe you didn't lose somebody to death, but you lost them to addiction.
[00:12:14] And you can't stop it, and you can't fix it, and you can't change it, and you're just suffering.
[00:12:21] Maybe you lost your job and it's Christmas.
[00:12:25] You're not really sure how you're going to give your kids the Christmas you want to give them.
[00:12:32] Maybe you're experiencing the pain of the divorce, your own divorce or the divorce of your parents, and you just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. You feel like you're just stranded in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight.
[00:12:49] And what a great pain this is.
[00:12:53] If you're in this season, the season of not being able to control the pain that you're going through.
[00:13:01] I'm sorry.
[00:13:06] I know how it feels to have to sit and wait and endure.
[00:13:13] When my husband and I were waiting to see what was going on with my pregnancy, I had been scheduled to preach for the first time on a Sunday morning.
[00:13:23] And I remember talking to my mom, and she said, we can reschedule it for a time. That is going to work better.
[00:13:29] You have a lot going on right now. I'll preach for you on Sunday, and we'll reschedule it for a time where after you have the answers that you need.
[00:13:39] But I remember feeling called to do it.
[00:13:44] I remember feeling like I needed to trust God in this way, and I wasn't perfect. During this time And I didn't handle everything in ways that I'm proud of.
[00:13:59] But one thing I learned was how to worship God. When I felt like my life was falling apart, I felt like I needed to glorify God in my suffering.
[00:14:13] I wanted to worship him with a new posture, a posture of trusting Him. When I didn't know if things were going to work out, I needed to live out my faith. Not just when times were good and I felt really certain of my future, but I needed to serve him faithfully. When I was unsure and full of pain, I learned how to say, even if the worst thing happens, I trust you.
[00:14:43] Even if my heart is broken and shattered, I believe that you are good.
[00:14:48] Even if this doesn't go the way I want it to, I choose to worship you in my pain. And when I felt unsure of my future, I decided to trust God with everything I decided to say, even if I lose her, I'm going to worship you. Through it, all I knew was that I could trust Him.
[00:15:08] I could trust him if my prayer was answered, and I could trust him if my prayer wasn't answered.
[00:15:16] See, church, in life, we're going to experience suffering and pain, the kind that you can't control.
[00:15:25] And we're going to experience it whether we have a strong faith or whether we have no faith at all.
[00:15:31] But what I recognize is that he is the only solution.
[00:15:38] Trusting him is the only way through.
[00:15:42] It's the only way to go from hopelessness to peace.
[00:15:45] Trusting God in your suffering is the only way we can experience true inner contentment.
[00:15:53] And it's not a contentment of the body, but it's a contentment of the soul.
[00:15:58] It's when my soul can say, I will be content in every circumstance because I have you.
[00:16:06] And I'm gonna pray and I'm gonna seek you. But even if my worst fear comes true, even if I lose everything, even if this doesn't get fixed, I trust you.
[00:16:17] It's choosing to worship when we feel like we can barely lift our hands.
[00:16:21] And we say, I'm gonna grieve, but you are my God.
[00:16:25] There will be pain tonight, but I have a hope that there will be joy in the morning. And I'm going to weep. But I will not give up. I may suffer, but I'm going to remain faithful to you. I trust your plan over my plan. Not my will be done, but yours.
[00:16:42] You see, I have people in my life that I can trust with my suffering.
[00:16:47] My husband is one of them. I believe with my whole heart that if we were Going through a season of suffering financially, that he would do all that he needed to do, he would get 10 jobs if that's what it took for him to provide for our family.
[00:17:01] I trust that if we were ever going through a season where we were just in pain and we didn't know how we were going to pay bills and we didn't know what was going to be next, I trust with my whole heart that I'm safe with him, that my home is safe with him, that my kid is safe with him, that my bills are safe with him. I trust him.
[00:17:19] And it's a pre decided trust.
[00:17:22] It's a trust that says even before a problem arises, I know that you will be there for us.
[00:17:32] I know you're gonna take care of us.
[00:17:35] And I have other people that I trust. My suffering, my family. I know that if I was going through a personal crisis, all I'd have to do is make one phone call and there would be an army of 50 people at my door ready to pray with me, ready to cry with me, ready to comfort me and hold me and point me to something better and greater.
[00:17:56] You see, I have people in my life that I trust with my suffering.
[00:18:02] But what would it look like for us to trust God like that?
[00:18:08] What would it look like for you to say, lord, I am in a deep depression that I have been in for way too long and I do not know how to get out of. But I trust that you are a great, wonderful counselor and that in you I can find unspeakable joy. In you I can find a contentment that goes beyond what I can understand. In you I can find a peace.
[00:18:35] What it looked like for you to say, lord, I'm broken and I'm hurting. But I trust that you are my good father and that you will wrap your arms around me and you're gonna walk me through this.
[00:18:47] You say, I trust you with my pain.
[00:18:51] I trust that you will show up for me. I trust that you will provide for me. I trust that you will take care of me.
[00:18:59] What would it look like if you said, lord, I lost the person that I love.
[00:19:08] But I trust that in you there is eternal life.
[00:19:15] In December of 2012, right before Christmas, a pastor named Levi Lusko lost his five year old daughter in a fatal asthma attack.
[00:19:32] I can't even imagine that kind of pain.
[00:19:37] I can't even imagine what a long suffering that would cause.
[00:19:47] I can't imagine what his family had to endure.
[00:19:52] And in his grieving, he came to this conclusion.
[00:19:58] He said, I used to think each new day meant a day further and further from my daughter.
[00:20:04] I thought that every morning I woke up and it would be a day further from her memory.
[00:20:10] It would be a day further from when she was with me, he said. But I realized it wasn't a day further from her. It was a day closer to her because he had a hope of the eternal future where he would be reunited with her.
[00:20:26] You see, Church, the joy that we find in Christ when we experience suffering should produce hope.
[00:20:35] I want to read from you a verse out of the book of Romans, chapter 5.
[00:20:41] Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have a peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
[00:20:48] Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand. And we rejoice in hope, the glory of God.
[00:20:57] Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.
[00:21:10] You see, there's a hope that's found in our suffering.
[00:21:15] When we look in the face of our suffering, the suffering that we can't control, we should look through the lens of hope.
[00:21:24] You know, there's some suffering that we can't control. But I do believe that we can control how we respond.
[00:21:31] We can get up and we can choose to say, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
[00:21:43] Church, I believe that there's healing when we worship in our suffering.
[00:21:49] There's healing when we trust God through our weeping. There's healing when he lifts us up, when we are too weak to stand, and he uses it, and he transforms it.
[00:22:04] And now I want to.
[00:22:06] I want to look at the second type.
[00:22:09] The second type of suffering is suffering that we can control.
[00:22:17] We just looked at how we can look at God in the suffering we can't control. But I want to transition to the pain in life that we can control.
[00:22:26] The things we have agency in, the pain we can change, that we can take responsibility for and take action towards healing.
[00:22:37] And I've shared this story with you before, but I want to share it again because it totally changed my perspective on what I can control.
[00:22:48] At the beginning of this year, I was feeling like my marriage just wasn't in a healthy spot.
[00:22:56] There was nothing wrong or bad. I wasn't feeling like we were in a spot that we should have been.
[00:23:04] And I felt myself growing and criticism, and I felt myself growing in resentment. And I felt myself just looking at him in ways that he didn't deserve.
[00:23:16] He didn't change anything. He was the same guy I married. He was the same person that I fell in love with. It was me that was changing.
[00:23:24] It was a shift happening inside myself and a shift that was causing me pain.
[00:23:30] And so I decided that for 30 days I would not permit myself to say one critical thing to him.
[00:23:39] For 30 days, I decided to guard my lips and to make a conscious decision to encourage, over criticize.
[00:23:52] And at first it was kind of hard because I was in the habit of.
[00:23:57] Was kind of hard to be like, oh, don't say.
[00:24:02] But then by 30 days, it wasn't very hard anymore because I started seeing him differently.
[00:24:11] Even though he didn't change anything, I changed the way I saw him. Because I started thinking better thoughts about him, because I started saying better things to him, because I started looking at him in a new way, shifting my perspective in a new way. I started taking control of the things I could take control of.
[00:24:30] And my suffering decreased.
[00:24:33] My pain decreased.
[00:24:36] Because not all pain is bad pain.
[00:24:41] And we know this to be true when we work out.
[00:24:45] When you work out, I don't work out.
[00:24:51] We do it because we know that it's going to produce a greater strength.
[00:24:56] And in life we find the same thing.
[00:24:59] There's some suffering that we have to go through to grow in our strength.
[00:25:04] We suffer through college because we know it's going to produce an endurance. And we know that the pain has a purpose. And we know that it's necessary to get where we want to be.
[00:25:18] Some choices we make cause suffering and our thinking.
[00:25:24] We allow ourselves to think in ways that increase our anxiety.
[00:25:29] We allow ourselves to think in ways that increase our depression.
[00:25:37] And sometimes we experience suffering because of our own sin.
[00:25:43] If you've experienced struggle with addiction, you know this to be true.
[00:25:49] There's some choices that you make.
[00:25:52] And we put ourself into positions where we suffer.
[00:25:57] Bad choices sometimes lead to financial suffering.
[00:26:00] Some bad choices lead us into temptation. And it damages our marriage and it damages our hearts.
[00:26:08] But church, I believe in the power repenting.
[00:26:14] Repenting is this idea of turning away from sin and turning towards God.
[00:26:24] When we repent, we're taking our sins seriously and we're understanding what mistakes we've made and how we've missed the mark. And we're saying, God, I'm sorry.
[00:26:38] I don't want to live like this. I want to turn away from this thing and I want to turn towards you.
[00:26:45] Forgive me, transform me. I don't want to do this again.
[00:26:53] Repenting is when we have a changed heart that leads to changed actions.
[00:27:00] And I believe that there is a way to have internal peace, that there is a way to have well being, to have joy even when our circumstances and call for it.
[00:27:09] The most joyful people I know don't have joy because it's innate to them. They don't have joy because they're born different from the rest of us.
[00:27:18] The most joyful people I know actively choose to move to joy.
[00:27:24] They make a conscious decision to move away from negativity, not allowing themselves to say, there's no solution to this.
[00:27:33] People that experience this inner well being make active decisions to protect this joy, to protect the inner well being, the contentment they choose. Sin less and Jesus more and there's some suffering that we can control.
[00:27:52] If your home is not what you want it to be, take action.
[00:27:57] Make it a place you want to be.
[00:28:00] Fill it with laughter, fill it with joy. Fill it with the very best of what God has created in you. Turn the TV off.
[00:28:07] Enjoy dinner together, put your phones away and do a family game night. If your marriage isn't what you want it to be, get a sitter.
[00:28:16] Go on a date, even if it's the last thing you want to do.
[00:28:22] It's easy to make excuses to say, I've tried and I've tried and I tried and I can't do it anymore. But maybe this time you need to try again and you need to go on a date and you need to hold hands and to share stories from the past, to try to remember why you fell in love with each other, to cherish each other, to serve each other, to find this inner well being that comes from living differently than you're used to.
[00:28:51] Pick up your Bible.
[00:28:54] Stop making excuses to not get in the Word.
[00:28:58] You can choose to cling to God in your suffering.
[00:29:02] Spend more time with him than you ever spent before.
[00:29:06] If you already have a habit of reading your Bible, spend extra time in it than you normally do.
[00:29:12] Make a habit of prayer. Make a habit of worship. Stand up and say, I'm not going to live like this anymore.
[00:29:19] I'm choosing something different.
[00:29:22] I'm gonna control what I can control. And I'm gonna allow Christ to have influence in my life.
[00:29:27] Because joy is a fruit of the Spirit.
[00:29:31] And that means that when you live your life in close relationship to God, the Holy Spirit offers you joy.
[00:29:40] Joy is evidence of our nearness to Christ, and our soul is healthiest when it's near to Him.
[00:29:53] When your soul is refreshed, every challenge looks different.
[00:30:02] And when I see people glorify God in their suffering, I see a nobility that I want to replicate.
[00:30:12] When I see people trust God after they just got horrible news, it makes me want to love God better.
[00:30:21] When I see people cling to him when their whole world is falling apart, it makes me want to be a better woman.
[00:30:31] What would happen if this was the example that we showed the world?
[00:30:38] What would people think about God if this is how we responded in our suffering?
[00:30:45] If we chose to love him and to worship him and to serve him and to lift his name into this world in the middle of our suffering?
[00:30:57] I believe in all suffering, the controllable and the uncontrollable kind. That there can be an inner contentment that that comes from the Lord God Almighty, that there is a joy that is not contingent on our circumstance, but is contingent on our relationship to Jesus.
[00:31:16] And if our soul is most content when it's near to him, that means our joy is found in Him.
[00:31:23] If you want the fullness of joy, draw near to Christ.
[00:31:28] It matters how we think about God.
[00:31:31] It matters how we allow ourselves to think about him. How we think about him when we're in pain, how we think about him when they're suffering.
[00:31:41] And instead of asking the question, why does a good God allow suffering?
[00:31:48] Maybe we should ask the question, why do we see God himself stepping into suffering, hanging on a cross?
[00:32:03] We see God himself enduring the horrific reality of a Roman crucifixion on his own accord.
[00:32:15] He had the power to escape.
[00:32:17] He had 12 legions of angels at his disposal.
[00:32:23] But instead, he chose to step into the suffering world.
[00:32:31] The Bible tells us he was despised and rejected by mankind. A man of sorrows, a man of suffering, familiar with pain.
[00:32:41] We know we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize, but we have a high priest who knows suffering.
[00:32:51] He knows it.
[00:32:54] And if you're feeling lonely in the Garden of Gethsemane, before Jesus was gonna be crucified, he asked his disciples to come and pray with him.
[00:33:07] And the text tells us that he was deeply grieved.
[00:33:14] And so he brings him in the garden, and he says, would you guys sit down here and pray with me? Would you sit with me? Would you be with me?
[00:33:21] He knew what he was about to go through, and he wanted his friends to sit and pray with him.
[00:33:29] And instead, they all fell asleep.
[00:33:33] They left him alone.
[00:33:36] If you've suffered loss, we see Christ lose people he's really close to and in horrific ways.
[00:33:49] His cousin John was beheaded.
[00:33:55] If you've suffered abuse.
[00:33:58] Christ is familiar with it.
[00:34:01] He endured more abuse and pain than we could ever imagine on the cross. And time and time again, we see Christ endure such great suffering.
[00:34:09] He knows it. He lived it.
[00:34:12] And so you're safe with him in your suffering.
[00:34:16] You are safe with him in your pain. You can trust him with it. You can cling to him in it. He promises to strengthen you. He promises to help you. He promises to uphold you with his righteous right hand.
[00:34:29] He promises that he is near to the brokenhearted, and he saves those crushed in spirit. And this momentary light affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.
[00:34:43] And I have one final story I want to share with you as the band comes back up.
[00:34:50] In the 19th century, a man named Horatio was a successful lawyer and a devout Christian living in Chicago.
[00:35:01] And in the great Chicago fire of 1871, he lost the majority of his wealth.
[00:35:07] And just shortly after the fire, his son died of scarlet fever.
[00:35:17] And just two years after that, in 1873, he sent his wife Anna and their four daughters ahead of him on a trip to Europe.
[00:35:32] And on that trip, Anna's ship collided with another vessel in the Atlantic in sank.
[00:35:42] And all four of Horatio's daughters drowned.
[00:35:48] Anna survived and later sent a message to her husband through a telegram with just two words.
[00:35:57] Saved alone.
[00:36:01] And so he immediately boarded the ship to join his grieving wife.
[00:36:08] And as his ship passed over the approximate location where his daughters had just died, he started reflecting on his loss.
[00:36:22] And in that moment of grief, he wrote these words that would become one of the most famous hymns that we sing.
[00:36:34] And the opening line was not denial.
[00:36:39] It was faith forged in sorrow.
[00:36:42] It says this.
[00:36:44] When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, when whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say, it is well with my soul.
[00:36:59] He wasn't saying that life was easy.
[00:37:05] He was saying that even there, God is sufficient.
[00:37:12] And so, as we sing this last song tonight, I encourage you to whisper a prayer to the Lord.
[00:37:22] If you're in a season of suffering, whisper this prayer.
[00:37:28] Father, my life is not easy right now.
[00:37:32] I'm experiencing a pain that I'm not sure how to understand.
[00:37:38] But even here, you are sufficient.
[00:37:43] Even here it is well with my soul.
