What Are You Really Chasing? A Father-Daughter Conversation on Pursuing God

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Welcome to a very special edition of our CC midweek service. I'm here with my dad. [00:00:06] Speaker B: Nice to be here. [00:00:08] Speaker A: You looking good. [00:00:09] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:00:09] Speaker A: Looking cool. [00:00:11] Speaker B: Not nearly as good as you look, my dear. [00:00:14] Speaker A: Debatable. So we're going to be doing a special midweek. It's an online only service, so you're all joining us online. And one of my goals today is I feel like you had said something in your sermon a couple weeks ago that stuck out to me in a profound way. You had talked to about having a gentle spirit that softens a harsh atmosphere. And as I listened to that idea, it made me think, there are things we're pursuing in our life that are more valuable than others. And I. I think the question is, like, what are you pursuing? And how do you pursue the stuff that honors God? So when you think about this, we kind of talked and you pulled out the first Timothy passage. Would you mind reading it to us? [00:01:11] Speaker B: So I'm going to translate that. I. I didn't bring the English Bible. Is that all right? [00:01:15] Speaker A: Yeah, even better. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Ah. And you, O man of God, flee these things. That's in the paragraph before. He's talking about greed and selfishness and lust. And he says, flee these things. And then he gives a command, Hunt, pursue righteousness, piety, faith, love, patient perseverance and gentleness. [00:01:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I love this concept. You said that Paul's using the imperative when it comes to this pursue or hunt. Can you explain to the audience, like, what the imperative means? [00:02:01] Speaker B: So some things are just statements. They're just normal sentence statements. Other things are commands. So a simple statement would be try to do this. Try to pursue a righteousness, piety. But he's pushing it beyond that and he's saying, this is not negotiable. This is an absolute necessity in your pursuit in life. Make sure you're hunting for these things. [00:02:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I like the word hunt in the original Greek. It's fascinating to me to think about it as. Cause when you think about hunting, you think about you're searching out for this, you're seeking after it. You're purposefully going about your way to look for these things. When you think about your life and this pursuit of life you've lived, you've done some great things in your life. You've helped feed kids and build homes for people and start churches and build campuses, and we've helped people all the way around the world. Like, there's things you have pursued in the name of God. What do you think you're. Your life's pursuit is. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Well, it's changed. I reached a point in my life where. The Holy Spirit was prompting me that the only thing I'm taking with me is the quality of soul that I am. I mean, I love this church. [00:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:57] Speaker B: I love this building. I love pulling in here. I love the memories that go with it. Okay. But someday I'm gonna be in the columbarium out there. All that will be left of my life is who I became. So when that really dawned on me, then it started making sense for me to start picking spiritual qualities and making them a focus and pursuing them in my life. [00:04:32] Speaker A: What would you say your. The spiritual quality you're seeking the most this year is? [00:04:38] Speaker B: Well, I shared this in our staff meeting. I mean, our leadership team. I actually have this little pocket notebook, and I wrote down about 10 verses about kindness. I recognize a harshness in myself. Some of it is not. Like, my voice is harsh. Okay. But I have a high tolerance for harshness. Too high. [00:05:13] Speaker A: Like, do you think it's. You have thicker skin. What do you mean? Like, what's your. What's. Explain this. You say it a lot. Like, what do you mean you have a tolerance for harshness? [00:05:23] Speaker B: I. I have permitted myself to be more harsh than I should have to speak. And I could have said the same thing in a more gentle way. I could have figured out how to be more influential in a more pleasant way. [00:05:53] Speaker A: I am fascinated that you use the word permitted because I do think we all have bends and tendencies towards things that are going to be healthier and unhealthy. There's a joke in my family that there's a lot of anger in the bones. My kids say they have anger issues. You would never know it. Don't believe it, but it said they say it's like their tendency first is anger. Is that what you think yours is with this harshness? [00:06:22] Speaker B: Yeah. I went to counseling for five years. [00:06:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:26] Speaker B: I couldn't work it out myself. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Now when you talk about this, you are no longer permitting yourself to do this. So what's your goal to help you get there? Because I know, especially with anger, when it's your first tendency, there is. You take so much. Take so much, and then you blow the lid. Right. Like, that is the tendency. So what. What's the goal? What's. How do you. [00:06:54] Speaker B: Well, first of all, you have to pursue. You have to identify gentleness. And then you have to start strategizing. Okay. I know this kind of situation triggers my harshness. Right. Something doesn't go right at work. We're aar in it. And somebody says, well, there's nothing we can do about it. That's going to trigger my harshness every single time. So if I know that I can prepare, I can say, in the past, I would have gotten a little too direct. Could we say it that way? [00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:42] Speaker B: And okay, so part first of all, identifying it. Second of all, recognizing that there are triggers. Then third, I have to hold myself accountable when I'm too harsh. I'm going to be. I'm absolutely committed to apologizing and promising I'll do it better. [00:08:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I want to kind of start from the top of this list because Paul is telling us what to pursue in our life, what makes. What gets the priority. And I think for so many of us as we live our life, it's easy to just allow your emotions to flow or allow whatever's innate in you or what feels good to be kind of the response. But I love this idea that he gives us an intentional list that no matter who you are, where you're at, what gender, any of it, you are able to have some clarity about the things that God loves. And so I want to take a look at this. So the first thing he says is we should pursue or hunt righteousness. Can you define righteousness for us? [00:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I would like to say a word, another word about pursuing hunt. It is the idea that these qualities are not going to be innate and natural to me. I've got to do something to get them. [00:09:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:19] Speaker B: And a lot of Christians have a passivity about spirituality that if I just say the right prayer or if I can just read the right magic Bible verse, it will change my character. And really, that's not how it happens. It happens by making these things spiritual issues between us and God. [00:09:45] Speaker A: I. The word passivity, like, rings such a bell in my heart because I think there is such a cancel culture. So it's almost created a generation of passivity. And I have a whole lot to say about that. So maybe we can do a podcast on that. But I think because of the way you're treated or because people cancel you, there's this toxic masculinity. So now every man is toxic. And it's creating a culture of passivity that I don't think God ever intended for us. [00:10:22] Speaker B: You're absolutely right. [00:10:23] Speaker A: I think part of a healthy Christian man, a healthy Christian woman, is initiating good, initiating something better. And so do some of those things exist? Absolutely. Is there toxic masculinity? Absolutely. But that doesn't make it such a broad swoop you know what I mean? And so I. I do think that if you are a young man or a young woman listening to this, we gotta fight back on what culture pushes us towards. [00:10:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:57] Speaker A: Do you have anything to say on that? [00:10:59] Speaker B: That's these qualities. Because these qualities are going to be countercultural. The culture is going to say, this is normal. And we're going to push back and say, yeah, but we're pursuing something better. [00:11:13] Speaker A: Good. [00:11:13] Speaker B: Maybe that's normal, but we're pursuing something better. Yeah. [00:11:17] Speaker A: So we're going to contrast these a little bit because. So he talks about this pursuing righteousness. Define righteousness for us. [00:11:25] Speaker B: Okay. Righteousness is being right. All right? Not as a know it all, that's my gift, but being right in the sense of being right with God. [00:11:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:42] Speaker B: This is what God likes. This is what he doesn't like. This is what he blesses. This is what he won't bless. So righteousness is. Pursue righteousness means you are putting effort in to doing things, to being the kind of person and doing the things the way God wants them done. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Yeah. And there's like a surrender in that because like you're saying this does not come naturally to most of us. Most of us have to make it a priority. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Yeah. What most of us do is instead of saying what is the right thing to do in this unpleasant situation, we say, what is the easiest way to get through this? [00:12:24] Speaker A: Yeah. How can I sweep this one under the rug? How can I avoid this confrontation? Or do what feels good versus what doesn't feel as good, but it's better for the soul or better for the outcome at the end of the day? [00:12:38] Speaker B: Right. [00:12:39] Speaker A: I had an interesting conversation. I had a group of leaders over my house, all in their 20s. And, um, one of the kids was talking about a topic as far as, like, when temptation comes, like, how do you. What's the line with sin when, like, how far is too far? And he was trying to grapple with for his generation, like, how do you draw healthy boundaries? I think. Do you have anything to say about that when it comes to righteousness? [00:13:13] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm certain that the boundary isn't where we think it is. In my own struggle with sin, The there is the way of escape moment. And if you miss that, then you're going to fail in the temptation. There isn't a way. There is in every temptation. He'll provide a way of escape. There is the way of escape moment. And if you miss that, then you're going to fail. [00:13:56] Speaker A: That's fascinating. I think that's One of the most misquoted Bible verses because I think most people say it like, God will give you, will never give you more than you can handle. And it's like, that is not what scripture said. But during temptation, that's what it's wrapped around. Like there will be a way out. [00:14:12] Speaker B: Right. [00:14:13] Speaker A: How do you identify that when you're in the heart of it? [00:14:16] Speaker B: Well, you don't. I mean, this is why we have to learn from our sins, Because it's not like temptation is some new thing. [00:14:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:41] Speaker B: Temptations come to most of all of us in patterns. You know what I mean? [00:14:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:47] Speaker B: So I've never been, never been interested in drugs. So I've never been tempted. Do you know what I mean? [00:14:56] Speaker A: Yeah, but. [00:14:56] Speaker B: But there are other people who have a pattern of temptation. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah. I say we all have different flavors. There's all different flavors. [00:15:07] Speaker B: But my life will teach me this is the pattern that this follows. And if you pay attention, it's pretty consistent. And, and if you'll pay attention in that pattern, God will provide a way of escape. [00:15:34] Speaker A: I love that. [00:15:35] Speaker B: But if I refuse that way I'm going to fail. [00:15:39] Speaker A: Yeah. And ultimately you end up paying the price. [00:15:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And then you got the misery of sin. [00:15:45] Speaker A: Yeah. But you had said in a sermon or past podcast that sin, when we understand God, Right. Our sin should always draw us closer, not farther away. And so when we think about being right with God, what are some of the characteristics that you try to think about when it comes to righteousness? [00:16:12] Speaker B: Well, I want to think. We've talked about this. I want to start by thinking right about God. The better I think about God. That has a trickle down theory. [00:16:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:25] Speaker B: If my thoughts about God aren't right to begin with, that has a trickle down theory. And here's an example. God loves me more when I'm good than he does when I'm bad. [00:16:38] Speaker A: Yeah. That's how it feels. [00:16:39] Speaker B: Yeah. So if I think that way about God, it has a trickle down theory. Yeah, a trickle down effect. Sorry. If I do it just the opposite. The heart of God is so full of love that it breaks his heart. When I as his child make myself miserable with sin. It breaks, it moves, it moves his mercy, it moves his grace. When I fail, I'm thinking differently about God and it's going to affect my life down here. I think God is too strict. Well, now I'm tempted and I'm thinking, well, God is just too strict. [00:17:37] Speaker A: This isn't no win situation. [00:17:40] Speaker B: But I think God is so good, he's asking Me not to do this for my own good. [00:17:49] Speaker A: See, that's something I go to a lot in my life, is watching my kids grow up. They were great kids. Like you say we grew up better than you raised us. My kids for sure grew up better than I'm gonna. They're gonna be so high in heaven. I'm gonna have. [00:18:09] Speaker B: I will say that they're great kids [00:18:11] Speaker A: to use binoculars just to see them. [00:18:14] Speaker B: Will they be sitting with Shay then? [00:18:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. So one of the things though is they would go through hard times. And as a parent who had lived through their teen years and lived through the drama of friends and broken relationships, you want them to make the right choices because you want them to have the healthiest, best life. And as I. As I seek God, I hear him as a friend who says, I have something better and I love you and I want what's better best for you, for your own good, for your own well being. And I think there is another way of thinking about it that's like such deep condemnation and such deep, I don't know, beating you up. And I think we can beat ourselves up pretty good. But I do love starting at the. About who is God? Truly not what you've been told, but what do you see in the life of Jesus Christ? You know, who is he? [00:19:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:14] Speaker A: All right, I want to talk about the next one. You called it piety. A lot of Bibles will translate it. Godliness. Talk to me about piety. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Okay. Piety is. My definition of piety comes from Calvin. I call piety that love and reverence for God that comes from knowing everything good in my life comes from God. So piety is a love and respect for God that's not abstract, it's visceral. I love and respect God because everything good I see in my life comes from him. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Yeah. How do you think you cultivate that, Dad, I know the Holy Spirit obviously is the cultivator, but how do you align with him or what? How do you set up in your everyday life to grow in reverence? [00:20:16] Speaker B: I think we start by Thanksgiving. Generates reverence. [00:20:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Gratitude, praise. [00:20:26] Speaker B: I start out thanking God and I start out praising him, and I find that my reverence soars. [00:20:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:37] Speaker B: So reverence is kind of the after effect. Okay. Visceral reverence. There is a intellectual reverence, but the visceral reverence that we feel is going to follow Thanksgiving and praise. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Yeah. I find it interesting that the opposite of piety then would be a self focus. And I think so often when we're struggling in our mental life or we're struggling in our relationships, it's because so much of the focus is on us. I feel like such a big cure for people that are struggling is to take the focus off self and onto something of greater purpose. And so in this idea of piety, it is taking. Take your eyes off of you and look to God. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Yeah. The opposite of piety is self aggrandizement. I am where I am because I made better choices than people. [00:21:41] Speaker A: I am, worked harder. [00:21:43] Speaker B: Yeah. It's me. It's the Pharisee, the praying in the temple. [00:21:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Why don't you share with them? [00:21:56] Speaker B: The Pharisee prayed in the temple. I thank God I'm not like other people. [00:22:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:01] Speaker B: See, that's the opposite of piety. Yeah. And then he starts bragging to God about what a good guy is. I fast when I'm supposed to fast. I go into my garden and. And I tithe cucumbers. And the opposite of that is the tax collector who can't raise his head, stands in the very back, pats himself on the chest and says, God, be merciful to me, a sinner, because he knows everything good in his life comes from God. Yeah. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Yeah. I think about cultivating this act of piety and my life. And it is. It's making sure I have that time with God. That is adoration, that is praise. That is worship. And it's. I think praise even has more power in my life. When things are hard, when we're able to glorify God, praise him, remember who he is. In the hardness of life, it's again taking our eyes off of us and onto the one of authority. The one who has the power to change. The one who can heal and cure and move mountains and lead us so well. Okay, let's go on to faith. Talk to me about faith. [00:23:26] Speaker B: So faith is used two ways in the Bible. One is a noun, one is a verb. Faith as a noun is my theology. What do I believe? The faith that is given over to us. That is the theology that I believe. [00:23:52] Speaker A: And theology is talking about God. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Right. [00:23:55] Speaker A: God talk how we talk about him. [00:23:57] Speaker B: Ah. Then faith as a verb is trust. It's confidence. It is. I'm doing this not because I feel adequate myself. I'm doing it in the faith that God is with me and is gonna help me. [00:24:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:21] Speaker B: So I'm either acting, I'm doing what I do. Cause I've convinced myself I got my bases covered, I can handle this. That's the normal. Then the faith I need to pursue is I'm doing things in my life that I'm not good enough to do that I wouldn't otherwise do. And I'm doing them in complete confidence and trust that God is with me and is gonna give me what I need in the moment. [00:24:49] Speaker A: Yeah. I tend to think that fear is the opposite of faith. Not. It's what we do with the fear because it can be so controlling and so stopping. And so, I don't know, it just. It hinders you so much. And so this idea of, you know, fearing the very worst or living in all the possibilities of wrong. And. And faith is this surrender of, like, even if I'm afraid, I am trusting you. What do you think about fear and faith? [00:25:24] Speaker B: Okay. I think fear is. Our boss tells us 66 times, do not be afraid. That's pretty. You can't. [00:25:32] Speaker A: Yeah. And then it's over.365. Some form of that. [00:25:35] Speaker B: Some form of that. [00:25:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:36] Speaker B: All right. I tend to think the opposite of faith is anxiety. The opposite of faith is insecurity. And the anxiety and the insecurity keep me from attempting what I should attempt. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:04] Speaker B: And then if I'm not careful, we pile on. Maybe some anxiety is a normal. But then we pile on and then we start thinking worst case scenarios and I'm going to be embarrassed. I'll be humiliated. This won't turn out right. [00:26:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting because I do feel like when we think about our. We're in the series right now with midweek about claiming your strengths, that it's so easy to claim our weaknesses. It's easy to know what's broken in us. It's easy to know I was an insecure girl full of shame. And I lived in that for so long. And all it did was stop me from becoming and doing the things that I think I was designed to do. It never blessed me. It never helped me. But for so long I lived in it and I was stuck in it. Yeah. I drew a line in the sand with God that basically said, I will not live this way anymore. It's not helping me an ounce. And it was like this turning and I was too old for this, Dad. I was way too old for this. I. But it was a turning point in my life because it was a moment of deep faith and not just my brokenness, but a faith in who God was and how he is working in me. [00:27:25] Speaker B: Beautiful. [00:27:27] Speaker A: When you think about love, talk to me about what pursuing love has looked like in your life. Because I think sometimes we can think about it romantically or we can think about it as our family or. But like, is. Is pursuing love a personality trait? Is it how we act? What is pursuing love look like to you? [00:27:50] Speaker B: Well, we get. We get a. We get a giant gift in 1st Corinthians 13. So at different times in our lives, pursuing love looks differently. So, for example, sometimes pursuing love looks like enduring love endures all things. Sometimes it looks like persistence, love never fails. Sometimes love looks like. Doesn't return insult for insult. So this kind of Christlike love actually looks differently in different moments, in different situations. But the one thing it has in common is it is modeled. This kind of love is modeled by Jesus Christ. How did Christ love people? I want to pursue loving people the way Christ loved people. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:07] Speaker B: People nobody else wanted to touch. Jesus loved them enough to touch people that nobody else wanted to have dinner with. Jesus loved them enough to have dinner with them. [00:29:18] Speaker A: The father that sat on the porch, I just. I think about that image of, like, every time I have turned from God and gone my own way, he gave us the image of the prodigal son and the dad, and the dad sitting on the porch and running to his son. And that is such a image. When our hearts can be heavy or we feel full of shame, or we feel regretful that we have a God who runs to us. I mean, I love it. [00:29:45] Speaker B: I do, too, Sarah. [00:29:47] Speaker A: I love it. I think about the next two are. It's patient perseverance and this gentleness. And I think that's everything you just said. It's like, enveloped in this love. When we think. When you think of patient perseverance, you know, God's the commandment that we see the most in the New Testament is to love others, to love one another. And it's. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples. And if you truly want to be a Christian in this world, it's not pointing out everyone's faults and sins and beating people down. It is by. It's by showing them the love of God. And so when you think about patient perseverance in your life, talk to me. [00:30:33] Speaker B: I'm lucky. I have a life experience. When I was a boy, garbage trucks didn't come around where we lived, but there was a garbage dump, and we had a barrel in our backyard. And what you could burn, you burned. And the glass and everything else, you put in these metal garbage cans. And they had two handles. [00:30:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:01] Speaker B: And we had to. [00:31:01] Speaker A: This is so fascinating. [00:31:02] Speaker B: I didn't even know when it fills up. Then we would have to take this to the Dump. So I have a brother who's a little older than I am. [00:31:11] Speaker A: How far was the dump from your house? [00:31:13] Speaker B: Well, we drove part of the way there. Then you had to stop, and then we had to carry it back. And it seemed like 100 miles. And his can was too heavy, and I was too short to carry with one hand. So my brother carried one hand. All I carried, but I had to hold like this. And then I would walk sideways. All right. And it always felt too heavy for me. And I would always want to put my end down, but I was so stinking proud, I wouldn't stubborn mine down [00:31:48] Speaker A: until he put it down. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Until he put his down, absolutely. So it was carrying a load heavier than I could carry, farther than I can carry it. That's patient perseverance. [00:32:01] Speaker A: What a great analogy. [00:32:02] Speaker B: In life, we have to carry loads that are too heavy and we have to carry them farther than we're capable of carrying them. But we pursue the goodness of God in patient perseverance. Some things have to be endured. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. But there is. I love the image so much. Great analogy. And so you. I mean, I can see that. So you. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Gritting my teeth. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, I love you. I love little boy Doc. [00:32:40] Speaker B: You wouldn't have. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Then we would probably have been very good friends. Yeah. What I love, though, is we have a God who, even when we are carrying things that are too heavy, he holds us. And that is when my nephew was in the hospital. And that was an image that I would picture God surrounding her family and holding us because we were bearing stuff that was too hard. Every day it would be more news of something terrible. And we literally. We had a joke. We're like, well, we've heard every terrible thing. We can't possibly hear one more bad thing. And we were all laughing about it. And then the doctor came in and said something. But this image of patient perseverance is what you need now. God's work is not. And I love the idea of holding and carrying longer and heavier because that is such the truth. [00:33:41] Speaker B: And I have to pursue that. I have to say to God, I want to patiently persevere. I don't know that I have it in me, but you have it in you. I'm asking you for the grace to patiently persevere. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Because we wanna put the can down. We wanna, you know, live in the grief or we want to life stops or quit too soon. And I think the. One of the truths I've learned recently is I need strength for today. And if I think too far out it can be overwhelming. But today I seek God for the strength I need today. And he always provides. Seek him for. For today. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Yes. [00:34:27] Speaker A: Okay, let's end this then. Kind of where we started on gentleness. So gentleness has been evasive to you. [00:34:39] Speaker B: Yes. It has to be pursued very hard. [00:34:43] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I think when you think about gentleness, this has kind of been tied with your kindness, your word for the year. What are some things you have learned to abate anger and lean into gentleness? [00:35:02] Speaker B: Well, I put it in that sentence you quoted. [00:35:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:07] Speaker B: Gentleness is a purposeful softening. I'm going to speak with a softer voice. I'm going to touch with a more gentle hand. I'm going to soften instead of grit my teeth. Gentleness is not weakness. [00:35:37] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm laughing because you quite literally grit your teeth. And I do the same thing when I was a little girl. Grit my teeth. But, yeah, you quite literally grit your teeth. [00:35:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And I want to soften. So in my mind, I'm associating Gentleness is the strength to create a real storm. [00:36:02] Speaker A: Yeah. I love that it is the strength because it's easy to lose your temper. It's easy to be mad. [00:36:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:09] Speaker A: Can someone give me an amen? [00:36:11] Speaker B: Amen. Way too easy. [00:36:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:14] Speaker B: Ah. But it takes strength to soften. [00:36:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:22] Speaker B: I am not. I am not rolling over. I'm not avoiding. I'm not annoying. I'm not. Okay. I am purposefully and thoughtfully because I am a follower of Jesus Christ, softening so that I can have a better influence on a harsh world. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Yeah. I was just talking to one of our staff members about situation. Someone came in real hot, real heavy. And so we were going through what happened, and I said, you know, we have the power to escalate or de escalate a moment. And it depends on our tone. It depends on how we respond to the hot. And so we were walking through, how do you lower your voice? How do you maybe take stuff that you don't deserve and become like the trampoline where they might throw it at you, but it doesn't have to stick? And I think there's truth in when you soften a room, sometimes you have to take hits with it. But I think the overall tone is I'm pre deciding that this is what I'm pursuing, that I'm going to de escalate the situations as far as it is up to me. And if I have to take some hits along the way, I'll take them. I always say I will take a hit for Jesus Any day of the week. [00:37:52] Speaker B: Good girl. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Learned it from my dad. [00:37:56] Speaker B: So. A soft answer turneth away much wrath. A soft answer turneth away much wrath. [00:38:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:09] Speaker B: The softening has the opposite effect of what we think. If I soften, they'll take advantage of me. If I soften, they'll think I'm weak. But it does just the opposite. A soft answer turneth away much wrath. Ah. I can. Sharon and I can be in the middle of a disagreement where we both think we're right. If she touches my cheek, I fold. [00:38:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Ladies, pointers. [00:38:46] Speaker B: She wins the argument the minute she softens and touches my cheek. All right. I don't know. I don't know. The magic answer to. [00:38:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:00] Speaker B: She's a little more. [00:39:01] Speaker A: I'll touch your cheek. [00:39:03] Speaker B: She's a little more complicated than I am. Softness has an incredible influence in the world. [00:39:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:14] Speaker B: You can't argue with somebody who won't argue back. You can yell at them, but you can't argue with them. [00:39:20] Speaker A: Yeah. And I find that most people. There's something bubbling under the surface. [00:39:24] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:39:24] Speaker A: Like most people are angry for a reason. There's something deeper. There's something else going on. And when you de Escalate, when there is a gentleness about it, often that will come out, you know, often something deeper is happening. They're triggered. This is. This has made them upset in some way because there's something deeper going on. Thank you for your time. I love these special editions. I hope you find this helpful. There's nothing we want more than to be able to pursue God in the kind of way that grows us closer to him and help us become more like him. So pursue Hunt. Do the things that draws your heart closer to God and helps you to become more like him. We love you guys. We hope you have a great night.