Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Dear heavenly Father, you are an amazing God. And the more I know you, the more in love with you I am, father, the more I know about your grace, the more I want to just be in your presence, the more I know that you are a loving and a compassionate and a gentle God who welcomes us. I want to be welcomed by you, father. I long to make you proud. Will you fill each and every heart who is in this room and everybody listening, no matter when it is, fill them with you and your sense. Without you, father, we are nothing and we are lost. So I pray that if you are seeking, you will find, you will find us here. In your mighty son's name, I pray. Amen.
[00:00:45] I've gone back and forth on this opener because I really want to, like, really make sure I get it right. But I'm just going to combine a couple of things today because I was working on this sermon. So last week we talked about the prodigal son and the idea of the scripture is there's a man with two sons. And we went really deep into the younger son and about the forgiving grace of Jesus Christ and how he is gentle and he's accessible. And when we mess up, he is there with open arms and he gives us this beautiful picture of the son walking, and he's far away. And the father runs to him and he covers him in the best robe, and he gives him the best ring, the signet ring gives him new shoes. And it's just this beautiful picture that even in your sloppiest mess, even in your biggest regrets, you have a heavenly father who covers you. Who says, this guy, this girl. They're with me.
[00:01:47] But the story doesn't end there. It's the story of two sons. And I always, like, when I read this story or when I've heard it, I've always kind of heard the same things about it.
[00:02:01] Part of how I like to preach is like, God, can you show me something fresh? Can you show me something new? And I. I was reading the prodigal God. It's a book by Timothy Keller that I highly recommend. He does such a beautiful job talking about this story. And I really thought, like, I'm gonna go in this angle. And then Monday, I was working on it, and I just got, like, this overwhelming sense of, I am the older son.
[00:02:32] You see, the younger son has always resonated with me because I am a girl who likes to break the rules. I'm the exact opposite of my daughter.
[00:02:39] I'm like, if there's a rule, it is meant to be broken cannot get an amen.
[00:02:44] No. You're all older. You're good. Okay. I love to break the rules. I was a bad child. I feel so sorry for my parents. I was. I was just. I had a good heart. I just liked bad stuff, you know what I'm saying? And so, like, the younger son has always resonated with me. And for the first time, when I was looking at this story, I thought about who Jesus was talking about. And you get this idea of in. Before Jesus tells a story, he tells it because he's sitting in a room with sinners. And that's how the Bible says, sinners and tax collectors and the religious people look at it, and they're starting to judge God. Like, how can you eat and hang with them? And so, like, I have always been like, you're a sinner. I got you. I know you. I feel you. These religious people annoy me. And I work at a church, and I'm always like. I get so frustrated when people make it the legalistic laws of following God over the heartbeat of being in his prayer presence, over the love that Jesus Christ offers us. And so, like, the older brother has always been.
[00:04:00] Not me. It's always been them.
[00:04:03] And when I was studying it, I was thinking about the Pharisees and, like, how they were brought up, and they were brought up that you honor God by following the law.
[00:04:14] They were brought up that if you truly want the blessings of God, and if you want to be loved by God, then you have to follow the rules.
[00:04:25] And I was thinking about this in my life of, I'm not much of a rule follower, but what I do do is sometimes I get stuck in the idea of this pressure of performing.
[00:04:39] Like, the pressure of I'm going to do the right things, and then the favor of God will be with me. And the church is going to grow, and the staff is going to be awesome, and they're going to love me even more. And so I put this pressure on myself, like, do better, do more, make it right, fix it, do do do. And this pressure of performing, like, for my husband to really love me, I gotta be fun and cool and, like a guy's girl. You know what I'm talking about? And so then I'm, like, trying to live in that alley of, like, no, I'm cool. I'm gonna hang with the guys.
[00:05:19] And, like, for my kids. Like, I just. I want them to love God. And I think what happens is, like, I just want them to know that they are loved and they're valued, and I'll do anything. But then I'm like. Like the helicopter mom. That's like, hey, I'm gonna control everything so that it's all good, and you will be safe and good. And then I'm putting pressure on myself to be a better mom, and I'm putting pressure on my kids that now it's performance based, too.
[00:05:47] And this summer, I've just. I've really realized it a lot about how much stress and anxiety we put on ourselves to perform.
[00:05:59] Anyone relate?
[00:06:02] And I saw this picture, and it's this little girl, and I thought to myself, this is the most perfect representation of how I feel on the inside.
[00:06:13] I was scrolling through social media, and I follow account. It's called the history of cool kids, and it will show you little pieces of history. And this is from the 1950s. And I was like, oh, this is photoshopped. It's not photoshopped, okay? This little savage is holding, like, her dad, her mom, and her sister. It's like, something like 450 pounds. And I was like, wow. I've never seen a better representation of what it feels like to be Sandy.
[00:06:42] I was looking at this, and I was like, her little knees and her back have to be broken. And she was, like, labeled the strongest girl in the world. And something inside of me is like, yes, I am strong. I can handle this. I don't need to get help or seek. I can do this. And so then I pile the pressure up.
[00:07:05] I piled the pressure to do the right things and perform.
[00:07:12] And when I was thinking about this story, it was no longer just like, these religious people who were a bunch of jerks. Because every time I see you in the Bible, I'm like, you're a jerk. And I'm like, you're a jerk.
[00:07:26] And I just saw it in a fresh light of when you. Maybe it happens when you're young, like, your parents put the pressure on you, or maybe it's innate in who you are of, like, the pressure to get it right, to be perfect, to always make a good choice. Or maybe if you make a bad choice, then you got to really ask God for forgiveness, and you can't let it go, and you just keep asking him for forgiveness over and over and over again, because maybe if you're contrite enough, then he'll forgive you.
[00:08:02] And it's just not the picture of who God is in the Bible.
[00:08:10] I love how Lexi said he wants our presence, not our performance, and I love the idea. It's just so much harder to put into practice. Can I get an amen? It's so much harder to, like, truly believe that you are love. At least for me, it's harder to let the control go and trust that God is going to do something great instead of, I'm going to take on ten more responsibilities and make sure it's great. You know what I mean? And so when I saw who Christ was talking to, the sinners, and if you missed it last week, go check it out on YouTube.
[00:08:50] But he's really talking to a little bit of all of us in the Pharisees.
[00:08:55] Because what I realized happens is when we struggle with this perform based living, it turns us into somebody we don't want to be. And I don't think it happens overnight, but I think it happens over time. And I think what Jesus is trying to show this group is, hey, for the sinners, I want you to know that you are loved by God. And for the Pharisees, I want you to know that you are loved by God, too. And when you think you're getting it right by performance, let's look at it. Let's go a little bit deeper. And so we left off last week with the young son coming home, and the father runs to him and he covers him in the goodness, and he says, get the fattened calf. And the fattened calf would have been the highest delicacy. It would have been very rare that you had meat at every meal back then. And so to have any sort of meat would have really been a special occasion. It would be. You were celebrating something. But the fat in calf was, like, top tier, okay? The fat in calf was. You're not just celebrating. Your entire neighborhood is invited. It would be a wedding. It would be like all out celebration. And so the father says, get the fat and catch. My son was dead, but he is alive. My son was lost, but now he's found, and he goes, and they're celebrating, and the music's banging and it's popping and everyone's dancing and getting it. But the other brother is out in the field, and he hasn't got word yet what's going on, and I'm going to read it for you. We're going to go, Luke. 15 25 30 it says now, his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing, and he called one of the servants, and he asked what these things meant, and he said to him, your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.
[00:10:59] But he was angry and he refused to go in.
[00:11:03] The father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, he said, look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command. Yet you never gave me a young goat that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came who was devoured by. Devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fa and calf for him.
[00:11:27] There was an insight that I saw that I had never seen before. And when Jesus was telling this story, in fact, a lot of preachers, when you hear it, it'll be younger brother, older brother, older brother, older brother. But the way that Jesus actually starts this section is not older brother, it's older son.
[00:11:47] Jesus starts with identity. In this, you're not just an older brother. You are attached to me. You are attached to the father.
[00:11:59] And I think what happens in our lives is we get attached to some things and it's the wrong identity.
[00:12:09] See, he was mad because he had served his father faithfully all these years. Another translation says, I slaved for you.
[00:12:20] Do you feel the hotness in it? Like the heat? Like, this is not out of love. This is not like I love the father. This is out of duty, and out of duty to do the right things over and over and over and over again.
[00:12:35] It's created something in him that is built in anger.
[00:12:41] Do you ever feel angry?
[00:12:44] Something's happened, and I'm angrier than I've ever been in my whole life. Lately I'm like, I am not an angry person. What is happening? And lately I've just been, like, angry. I'm just mad.
[00:12:55] I'll get it figured out.
[00:12:58] But have you ever struggled with anger?
[00:13:01] I think sometimes one of the red flags of this older brother syndrome of this performance based living is your fuse is short.
[00:13:16] You get angry, and you get angry at stuff that doesn't even make sense to get angry at.
[00:13:24] And when he starts with this identity of son, the older brother isn't attached to the father.
[00:13:37] And tonight I just wonder, like, what are you attached to?
[00:13:43] In my younger years, I was very attached to Jacob.
[00:13:49] I.
[00:13:50] Well, still am not going to lie. But I would. I would confuse his love for acceptance.
[00:13:58] I would confuse, like, if I was getting it right by, if he was happy with me. I had a counselor who's like, imagine the son is your heavenly father, and you've put Jacob in front of the son. And so it's Jacob's approval. And so I was attached to the approval of my husband at the time, boyfriend. Anne Hubbye, what are you attached to?
[00:14:25] Some of us are attached to the wrong identity.
[00:14:29] Some of us relate to that younger brother of like, I'm going to seek out something to fill me, something to make me happier. Something, something.
[00:14:38] And we're attached to, like, freedom.
[00:14:48] Some of us are attached to, like, just really the wrong thinking.
[00:14:57] And as I was thinking about this, some of us are extremely attached to the act of performing. It is based on how I perform. If I do good, then I am good. If I do bad, then I'm bad.
[00:15:10] So try harder. Do more.
[00:15:14] I was watching the lion king. I haven't seen it for so many years, but my daughter and son in law were over. And there's like the newer version of it where the animals are, like, real. Have you seen it? It's so good.
[00:15:29] Same exact. It's just like the animals are real. But I guess they're computer animated, so they're not really real. But anyways, there's a scene where. Has everyone seen the lion king? Okay, there is a scene where Simba is little still and he is like, wandered away and he's wandered and all the hyenas are surrounding him and he is, like, scared. But he starts to growl. But it's just this baby growl. So it's like, raaar. And the hyenas are like making fun of him. And he goes to growl again and it's like pathetic. And little and the hyenas start to circle him and then he growls one more time. But it's the growl of mufasa.
[00:16:14] And the hyenas freak out and they run away. And Simba's feeling good because, you know who he was attached to? He was attached to his dad. He was attached to the king.
[00:16:28] And I think what we do in performance based living is we attach ourselves to us and we lose sight of who we should be attached to. We become our own savior.
[00:16:41] We become the person who controls, carries, judges. And instead of living our life attached to a mighty king who has our back, we are attached to us.
[00:16:57] And the pressure and the weight of life get too much to bear, too much to carry. And the anxiety builds up and the stress builds up. And instead of having a savior in Jesus Christ, I have a savior. And Sarah.
[00:17:12] And this is where Jesus is trying to call the Pharisees out.
[00:17:17] You see, it's not about just being good.
[00:17:21] And it's not. Sin doesn't just look like you do the bad stuff. Sometimes sin looks like you've replaced your lord and savior.
[00:17:31] And you've replaced it with you.
[00:17:35] And not one soul on earth was created to carry that weight.
[00:17:41] Not one soul on earth was created for that. Our creator created us to be attached to him, for him to carry the load, for our identity to be found in his sight, our identity to be found in who he is.
[00:18:01] And it's funny, because when I think about this story, the father still is showing up.
[00:18:09] It says that the older son found out that there was a party. He was mad, he was angry, and he didn't go in. So who came out?
[00:18:19] His dad.
[00:18:21] His dad came out and it says, entreated him. And really all that means is, like, earnestly asked him to come back in.
[00:18:30] Come be a part of what we've got going.
[00:18:34] Dancing's happening, the food's good, there's joy in there. Will you earnestly come back in?
[00:18:45] And instead of even opening his heart to it, the older brother starts the comparison game.
[00:18:51] Let's just be very clear. I am the one who has stayed this entire time. I'm the one who's picked up the slack when your son ravaged this place with prostitutes.
[00:19:03] I'm the one who made it all good for you, but you didn't even give me a goat.
[00:19:13] I think another big flag for us is this idea of comparison.
[00:19:21] Ugh, it's a hard one because here's what happened. We either compare and we find ourselves better or we compare and we find ourselves less than. And both of those don't honor God.
[00:19:34] And I'm scrolling social media and instantly feeling ugly. I'm scrolling social media and I'm instantly feeling like, well, I don't love God enough, or, ooh, what's in their hand, you know, like, there's a judgmental side of it and we gotta watch for that. We gotta look out for the idea of comparison because it robs our life.
[00:20:00] And God is saying, I want you to come in to the joy. I want you to earnestly come and be a part of what I'm doing and what I've got for your life.
[00:20:13] And we're.
[00:20:17] But when I thought about this and I really put myself in this, I thought, what the older brother is really looking for, it honestly seems like he's looking for approval.
[00:20:32] Like, you've never done this for me.
[00:20:38] And when I get super unhealthy, I look for the approval of my everything in other people.
[00:20:46] But I think there's a longing in every soul to have their father's approval. I think there's a longing in every soul to have, like, your parents approval and when I put myself in this role of, like, I just want God to be proud of me, I connected with the older brother. I just wasn't as sassy about it.
[00:21:14] I was listening to this sermon, and he's one of my favorite. It's Red Rocks church, and his name is Sean Johnson. And he had this moment of just, like, a really hard season. And church was crazy. His marriage was a little bit hard. It was just a very heavy season. And he came home one night after serving and doing church, and he, like, just sat down and spent some time with God.
[00:21:38] And he said what he was really, truly, honestly wanting was to know that God's proud of him.
[00:21:48] When I was listening to this sermon, I instantly started crying. I know. Shocker. But I instantly started bawling because it resonated with my heart, like, how I long to know that God's proud of me.
[00:22:04] And he said it was just like a season of struggle. And so what? He prayed, and then he kind of forgot about it. But it was this season of struggle, so he decided to go see a counselor. But it was like one of these counselors where it's like the intense counsel session where you go for an entire week.
[00:22:25] And so that night, he. He met with the counselor, and the counselor, like, interviewed him, and he asked him a bunch of questions. And it was like, the protocol for this counselor to get to know the client, the patient. And then what his routine was was the counselor would go spend the rest of the night praying, asking God for help and wisdom and then making a plan for the rest of the week. And so Shawn said, they talked. He kind of told them the things he was struggling with. And the next morning, he comes and he meets with the counselor, and the counselor is like, dude, this has never happened before. And Sean's like, what do you mean? He's like, I prayed, and I wanted to work out this thing, and I've got it, but this has never happened before. And he took this little slip of paper, and he just pushed it across the table.
[00:23:15] And he's like, I really just felt this overpowering sense that God wanted me to tell you this. And on that slip of paper, it said, I am proud you.
[00:23:33] The power of God overwhelms me.
[00:23:38] His desire to reach the longing of our heart, it overwhelms me.
[00:23:48] And I don't know where you're at tonight. I don't know if the pressure feels too much and you feel like that little girl and the performing and just trying to get it right has become too much. Seek the approval of your heavenly father.
[00:24:02] Then I want you to know what Jesus says in this story. Next, he says that the father looks at him and he says, son, again, he's reaffirming his identity. You are attached to me. You are loved by me.
[00:24:19] He said to him, son, you are always with me.
[00:24:23] All that is mine is yours.
[00:24:28] What if our heavenly Father is saying to us tonight that you are mine?
[00:24:34] It is not about your performance.
[00:24:37] I gave my life because I love you.
[00:24:42] What if your heavenly father is saying, everything that is mine is yours?
[00:24:49] We've been together this whole time, so stop doing it on your own.
[00:24:55] Stop living in the sense of control and judgment and turning into someone you were never created to be.
[00:25:04] All that is mine is yours.
[00:25:10] And the more you read the Bible, when you realize what God has, the eternal God of heaven, the creator of the universe, the God of mercy, grace, strength, dignity, peace, all that he has is ours.
[00:25:30] And he is entreating us. He's earnestly saying, will you just come in?
[00:25:35] Stop with the nonsense, stop with the controlling, stop with the comparing, stop with the judging. Would you just come in?
[00:25:45] It's so much better in here.
[00:25:52] I read the prodigal God, and Timothy Keller has a really interesting take on the end of the story.
[00:26:00] The dad says, son, you are always with me. All that's mine is yours. But then it says, it was fitting to celebrate and be glad for this. Your brother was dead and is alive. He was lost and he is found.
[00:26:12] And then the story's over, and you're left with this feeling of like, well, did he go in?
[00:26:19] We know the younger brother was saved and back in the family. But what happened to the older brother?
[00:26:27] And Timothy Keller pulls you back out of the story. And he says, when Jesus was talking to those sinners and to the Pharisees, he didn't just tell the story of the parable of the lost son. He told three stories.
[00:26:42] And they were all about being lost.
[00:26:45] The first one was, there was a lost sheep, and the shepherd had 100 sheep, and one got away. So Jesus tells this story, and he says, the shepherd left the 99 and went for the one, and he brought them back. And there was great rejoicing. And then there was like an end sentence that jesus said, and same it is when one sinner returns back to Christ, all of heaven celebrates.
[00:27:15] And that was the story of the lost sheep. And then back to back, he hit another one. He said, there was a woman who had ten coins and one was lost. And she didn't just let it go, she cleaned her entire house, and she swept to make sure she could find it. And she found the coin, and she rejoiced greatly. And again it says, just like in heaven, that's what the angels do when one sinner returns.
[00:27:40] But then he tells the story of the parable of the lost son, and there's no ending.
[00:27:48] And Timothy Keller says, a thoughtful listener would ask yourself, in the first two parables, someone went and found what was lost in the parable of the prodigal sons.
[00:28:04] It should have been the older brother who went and found his younger brother.
[00:28:11] The older brother, if he was truly a good man, he should have left everything, went and got his brother, paid his debt, covered him up, and brought him home to his dad.
[00:28:27] And then Timothy Keller says, there is a true older brother, and his name is Jesus Christ.
[00:28:37] There's a true older brother who loved us so much that he went and he found us.
[00:28:46] There is a true older brother in Jesus Christ that in our brokenness and in our mess, in our perfection and our performing, he went and he found us.
[00:28:59] And now he's saying, I want you to be attached to me.
[00:29:05] Every single one of us longs for that.
[00:29:09] We long for the approval and for God to be proud of us.
[00:29:14] And when I think about tonight, like, how do you just switch it? When you've lived so much of your time and energy trying to perform, trying not to let the anxiety, how do you just switch it?
[00:29:31] You take God's invitation and you walk in.
[00:29:38] You see, when I want to control, because I want my kids to be safe and I want everything to go good for them, instead of doing that, I go to Jesus and I say, I need you.
[00:29:55] I'm afraid.
[00:29:57] I want them to be happy. And so now I'm asking you, father, will you be the Lord of my life, and will you be the Lord of my kids life?
[00:30:06] And every moment that I feel the need and the pressure to perform, I invite Jesus in, because he has already said the music's going, the dancing's happening.
[00:30:19] When I feel the pressure to make sure this church is growing in everything that God wants it to be. And I'm putting this performance based, and instead of attaching myself to Jesus Christ, I'm just adding more and more to my calendar.
[00:30:36] I step in and I say, no, I am loved and called by God, and I will not work for his love, but I will work from his love.
[00:30:48] There's a difference.
[00:30:50] When we work for love, it's always a duty. It's like slaving after something. And there's always going to be a spirit of. It's never enough. And I'm angry and I'm grouchy because God's not living up to his end of the deal.
[00:31:04] But when I work and say, father, this is your church.
[00:31:10] It's yours. I love me, I love you.
[00:31:15] Weird.
[00:31:17] I combined my next sentence. Okay, okay. I love me. You ding it.
[00:31:24] I love you. Use me.
[00:31:29] I love you, Father. Will you use me however you see fit? If it is picking up garbage in the parking lot, I am your girl.
[00:31:38] If it's preaching to ten people, I am your girl.
[00:31:43] However you see fit. Will you use me because I love you?
[00:31:51] Our switch has to take the focus off of what we're trying to control, what we're trying to perform, and always attaching ourselves back to Jesus Christ.
[00:32:00] When the anxiety and the overwhelm hits, invite him in.
[00:32:04] Work can be hard. Working with people can be hard. And so you give it over to him. Instead of the pressure to perform or yell or whatever, just say, father, this is very hard.
[00:32:17] Can you give me grace in this moment?
[00:32:21] Can you bless whoever it is you're working with?
[00:32:25] And you take the performance based love, acceptance, and now you're walking in a partnership with God.
[00:32:37] You're walking in the way that you were created for.
[00:32:44] You are walking a life that you are meant for.
[00:32:48] Let's pray.
[00:32:50] Dear heavenly Father, I pray with all my heart that the peace of us that wants to perform, father, the piece of us that feels the pressure, that we will attach ourselves to you.
[00:33:08] I thank you so much that you give us stories of what you look like, of what the father looks like. And I pray that the areas that we get it wrong and the areas where it feels like you do good or we're done. I just pray that that will dissipate and we will long to be with you more and more and more. And I pray your goodness will wash over our anxiety.
[00:33:32] I pray your strength will take over our need to control. And I pray your love and grace will guide us every step of the way. In your son's name, we pray. Amen.
