Family Matters - Week 2

[00:00:00] How is everyone? [00:00:03] Good. Good. I'm a little beat today, so I had to drink a little energy drink before I got up here, so hopefully it'll kick in. Let me say a prayer. [00:00:12] Dear Heavenly Father, you are. You are so incredibly good. [00:00:19] And I echo the song. I want nothing else but you. [00:00:25] So. So I pray that as I preach, Father, that I decrease and you increase. That it is your words, it is your truth, it is your goodness that flows. [00:00:35] I pray that as we talk about families, that you will start to heal, that you will start to bind, and you will start to create a vision of something so much better. [00:00:48] I pray that your name will be glorified in us, Father, and through us, and that the family structure can start to be just honestly what makes this world a better place. [00:00:59] I trust in you with all my heart, and in your son's name we pray. Amen. Okay, so this sermon series is gonna kind of each build off of the other. So if you have not listened to the first sermon, I highly recommend going back. But just a little recap. Last week we talked about the idea that God has asked us to love him and love others. It's the greatest commandment. [00:01:27] But what happens is a lot of times we are taught how to love in broken ways and in past relationships and maybe in our upbringing, we have wounds and baggage that we carry. [00:01:45] And so we go into other relationships and we're carrying broken pieces and parts of unhealthy love with us everywhere we go. And then we get married, and then we start to raise kids. And now we have, like, we have less and less effectiveness and less and less of the health that I think God really wants for our lives. And so we were talking about how do we unpack these bags a little bit so. So that we don't carry this baggage and let it taint our relationships that God's given to us. [00:02:21] And so I think one of the things that is tough about baggage is sometimes you don't really know where to begin. [00:02:30] You don't really know. Okay, well, what actually is my baggage? What is the brokenness? Some of us are real lucky, and we know nice real clear. I. Our brokenness. Anyone in the room? Give me an amen on that one. [00:02:43] Mama unfortunately sees it real good. The self awareness gene has been rich in this pocket. [00:02:51] But sometimes it's harder to see than others. You just know something's not working right and you hate it and you want it to change, and it feels like you're beating your head against a brick wall and nothing is changing. [00:03:04] And I was reading this book which I highly recommend if you have young kids, if you have broken relationships in your family. It's called the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey. Highly, highly, highly recommend it. Because he said something in this book that I want us to all hear. [00:03:26] He said the only thing. This is kind of my version of it. The only thing more powerful than the baggage we carry is the hope of what could be. [00:03:42] And I think for so many of us, we have a vision of what could be for work. [00:03:51] We have a vision, if you're younger, of what could be for your wedding day. And you can see your wedding day, and you can see what you want to wear, and you can see the. The groom, maybe, or the bride. And you have, like, a vision of what you want. [00:04:06] Sometimes you have a vision of your career path. Like, you really know what you want for your career. But oftentimes we do not have a vision for ourselves or our family. [00:04:20] And scripture is clear. I think I grabbed your Bible, baby. I'm sorry. Scripture is clear that where there is no vision, the people will die. That's a Proverbs. Where there is no vision, the people will die. [00:04:36] And I think we can see this in our own lives, because I think what happens when you don't really have a clear vision of what you really want for your future. [00:04:47] We're very reactionary. [00:04:50] And so instead of being intentional, we react to whatever comes our way. At least I do. Anyone else? Okay, so let me explain a little bit. When Jacob and I were young and the kids were young, it was like, survival mode. You know what I'm saying? Like, Lexi was born, and we were little, and she was little, and we were just little. And then we got married, and Tay and Krish came, and it was like. It was just awesome. I loved being a mom. But then life got really crazy for Jacob and I, and we were never super intentional on, like, our parenting styles because we're so different. So his style is so incredibly different than my style. And we would be, like, annoyed with each other. That's the nice way of me saying it so much. [00:05:44] And by the grace of God, we came up with an idea of creating, like, simple values for our family. [00:05:56] I want you to imagine for a second that someone says, I booked you a trip to Maui and you leave in a week. [00:06:06] And I want you to imagine what you would pack for the trip. [00:06:11] Okay? We saved and saved and saved and saved. And like, 10 years ago now, I can't even remember, we took the kids to Maui. It was their first plane ride. It was 100 hour plane ride. And everyone was so excited. And I remember packing for the trip because I remember, like I knew I had the vision of what we were going to do. I knew that we were going to be going to the road to Hana. I had looked up pictures and read all about it and I knew it was going to be this crazy adventure, that we were going to need tennis shoes and like hiking clothes and bathing suits. And I had the vision of my head to pack for a fancy dinner, you know what I'm saying? Maybe a nice glass of wine with the family. I brought the bathing suits, we brought scuba gear because we knew that you could see the fish so clearly. I had a vision for the trip. [00:07:06] And I think, unfortunately we can pack better and see better for our vacations than we do for our life. [00:07:15] And what I want for us tonight, by the time we leave, is to be inspired by the word of God, to think about something better than what is. You see, when you pack for this trip, you're not packing for Ohio, you're packing for Maui. [00:07:31] And I want us to learn if you are single, if you are divorced, if you are married with no kids, if you're empty nesters, if you're in a fresh relationship, engage wherever you are at, this applies to you. Okay? So I don't want you to hear me just saying family, family, family. And you're like, well, I'm single or I don't have kids. Ignore that. I want the overarching idea to be that we are creating a vision for our future. Because where there is no vision, the people die. [00:08:06] And so when Jacob and I were younger, we kind of. My parents did this for us and we called it the family motto. I can't remember any of it, unfortunately, but I just remember that the heart of the family motto. I think we made it too complicated. I'm sorry, dad. It was a killer idea and I stole it from you. I love you, you're the man. [00:08:31] But I think we made it complicated. Katie, I'm talking about the family motto. Do you remember the family motto? [00:08:40] Okay, yeah. So all we knew was the family motto meant we got to treat people better. Okay, like, if anyone was fighting, dad would be like, family motto. Or if like mom or dad was angry. It was never really mom or dad. We'd be like, family motto. And he. We had a house full of teenage girls, so we were always fighting and hitting it, just being ridiculous towards each other. So dad's like, we are creating, creating a family motto. And we sat down, and I think we wrote fancy sentences and all these things. But the heartbeat of the motto was, we're going to treat each other better. [00:09:19] And so when Jacob and I got married and we had kids and we realized, one, we don't really know what the heck we're doing. And two, yeah. And two, we wanted a better future than what we were in. [00:09:37] And so we decided that we were going to take it really serious because we had such different styles and we were such different people on how to create something that was healthier, how to create something more beautiful. [00:09:53] And in Philippians. Philippians is a really cool book of the Bible because it's a Roman colony that a lot of the retired soldiers would live in. And so the patriotic nationalism was very, very high. It was all these men who had given their life to serve the king, and now they're retired. And so that's what Philippi was. And so Paul is writing a letter to this church in Philippi because they had just sent him this beautiful gift. They were taking care of him when he was in prison. [00:10:27] But there were challenges for the people in the book of Philippians, because when you teach that Jesus is the true king, and you have all these men who grew up with, like, giving their lives for the king, it created tension, and it made it difficult for the church. [00:10:47] And so Paul writes this letter, and it's this beautiful. Thank you. And it's this beautiful thing. But at the heartbeat, at the very end, you get this. This beautiful challenge from Paul where he's basically saying, okay, things can be difficult. There's gonna be moments of anxiety. There's gonna be moments where I really want you to lean on God. And in one part, he says, I want you to leave behind the past, and I want you to strain forward for what lies ahead. And he's doing this call to say, I don't want you to be stuck in the past. I want you to move forward, and I wanna encourage you. And then he says this line. Can we pop it up? Philippians 4, 8, 9. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise. Think about these things, what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. [00:11:57] I love that he is leaving this church with this thought of, I want you to think about what is good. [00:12:05] I want you to think about what's true. [00:12:08] I want you to think about what's honorable. [00:12:11] Because I think what happens, especially in the families, we often get stuck in thinking in what's not working. [00:12:22] Especially when you're a couple and you get stuck in seeing all the things that they are not doing. Or maybe you had high expectations of what your kids would be and they aren't living up to your expectations. And instead, instead of thinking about what is best and what is pure and what is honorable, we're playing through the list of what's not working. [00:12:50] Anybody? Just me. [00:12:53] Open and honest. That's CC midweek, you know what I'm saying? I shared a lot last time, guys. I shared a lot. Still feel a little sick from it. But I think at the heart of what Paul is saying is you gotta think about what is healthy. [00:13:12] You gotta think about what is good. [00:13:16] You gotta think about what is, what is honorable. You gotta think about what is true. [00:13:22] And I think, unfortunately, when we live our lives in our family units thinking about what is broken. [00:13:30] We have broken homes. [00:13:34] And so when you think about your family unit, I wonder, like, what the first thing that comes to your mind is. [00:13:43] And this is kind of where Jacob and I started. Like, what do we want our home to be like? [00:13:51] And I'm just going to be honest. [00:13:55] We had issues because we were young. Talk about it every week, so you don't miss that one. [00:14:00] But when we were starting to write our values and think about what was important to you, two of them were. Because we weren't very good at it. [00:14:12] And so I think when you're thinking about what is the vision for my family that I want? [00:14:19] What is the vision, if you're single, for who you want to be or what your home feels like? If you're in a new relationship, what is the vision for your relationship? When you start to think about it, you dream of what the best case scenario is. You look at who God is and you pull some of his characters and you say, how can my home be more like this? [00:14:43] But there's things that you have to do. Because in this book, Stephen Covey gives you some really good ideas, but he's very honest about how you create this vision, how you create these values that are going to be a driving force for you. [00:15:00] Some of you are young and you are in a home that you can't really control. [00:15:05] And so if that is where you're at right now, I think you have to start with making values for you. You have to start saying, okay, I can't totally control the atmosphere of my home, but I sure can control Me, I can control what I give back to. I can control what I say or how I treat my parents, or if there's been disrespect. I can do better at that. And so if you are home and you can't really control the values at your home that you're living in, start within. [00:15:38] Start within and start saying, okay, I can be kind if everyone's grouchy. I can be kind. [00:15:45] I can be full of grace and treat people better than they deserve. [00:15:51] I can be honest. [00:15:54] Man, honesty goes a long way, kids. It goes such a long way if you are in a relationship. Jacob and I, we actually. We have a date night tomorrow. Arriba. Okay, date night. [00:16:08] We are gonna go because our values have lasted us for 20 some years, and our kids are grown, and they are so deeply a part of who we are that it's second nature to us now. [00:16:22] But what happened is our kids are grown, and so the values that drove us aren't really jiving with Jacob and I right now. Like, it's not creating what we need. [00:16:34] And so it's unique because Jacob and I, God is good. Where it's not often that we're both in bad spaces at once. So one partner has been able to help the other partner. Well, sometimes we're both in bad spaces now, and we get home and we're exhausted, and we don't want to talk, and we don't want to work on values. [00:16:55] Men. Can I get an amen? [00:16:57] No. None. They're like, no, my wife's next to me. Don't be ridiculous. Okay. Okay. We don't want to talk. We don't want to deal with the heavy stuff. We just. We want to be left alone. [00:17:09] And so, unfortunately, now we love each other more than we've ever loved each other. It's healthy, it's good. It's just. It's not as fulfilling, I think, as it should be. And so tomorrow we're going to go on a date night and we're going to ask ourselves some questions, like, what values need to drive us for the next 20 years? What values will bring us closer together? And so separately, we've both been thinking about it. [00:17:36] He's so good at this. He inspires my heart with this. Because when we go, we're going to talk about what values are important to each of us. And then we're going to dream for the next five years of, like, what's the next five years look like? So we're going to create values, hopefully for the next 20, and dream of what do we want in the next five years? [00:17:55] So when you are creating values, I have a story. [00:18:03] Jacob and I went to Home Depot and we were going to plant all new flowers in the front yard. [00:18:09] And I had never planted flowers before. He's like the green thumb. Outside is his, inside is mine. So, like, he does all the outside stuff. I'm like the inside. And so I was excited to plant these flowers, and we went to Home Depot. We picked out the most beautiful flowers. And I am like, gardening, feeling like Miss Thing, you know? And I didn't realize that the fertilizer, like, the scoop fertilizer that's blue, is that fertilizer? I didn't realize you put like one scoop in a thing of water and then you water it. So I thought you put a scoop, dry scoop in every hole that you plant. Okay. So I was feeling good. I was feeling like this is going to thrive. It is going to be beautiful. If one scoops good, two's better. So sometimes I doubled it up. Okay. So I think it was like less than 24 hours. Everything was dead. [00:19:08] And so I was like, I don't know what happened. And so I'm telling Jacob, he's like, babe, you gotta put it in the water container. And it's one scoop. So I literally fried everything. [00:19:20] I think when you start family values, if you haven't had them already, the heartbeat can be. I want to make it better fast. [00:19:31] And so you try to implement too much too fast, and we push a little too hard, and you end up killing the effectiveness of this idea. Okay, so let's set the scene a little bit. If we are going to think about what God wants us to think about, what's healthy and noble and true, then. Then we've got to put some work into this. Of, like, what is good timing? [00:20:03] I know if I catch Jacob when he comes home, it's not good timing. [00:20:09] I know that it's better for both of us to think about it ahead of time. [00:20:14] I know that if you have kids, you should include them in this. You should include them of, like, what do you think's important? But the reality is, especially if you're in high school or you have high school kids, they might not be interested in this activity, okay? So you have to be very realistic. And one of the ideas that you can do is, like, go do a fun family day. And at lunch you take everyone out and you start talking about, like, hey, what's important to you? Like, when you think about what could this family look like? What are Some things that come to your mind or you can even start a little less. Like, what's one thing mom and dad could do different? [00:20:57] Okay, so you got to read the room. Do you know what I'm saying? You got to see where your partner's at. Don't try to do this when you're on E. It's no fun. No one wants to do it. Don't catch your spouse off guard. Don't catch your kids off guard. Prepare everyone ahead of time and then go do something fun. [00:21:19] Now, if you're sitting here and your partner is not, and you're thinking, they're never going to do this, I want you to try something. [00:21:30] I want you to try. My daughter and I, Lex, talk about this a lot. About, like, okay, especially if you're in a hard spot, I want you to try entering their world for at least a week. [00:21:47] Okay, so you're in a hard spot. You've been trying to work things out. It's not working. You say, okay, I would love a vision of something more beautiful, but nothing is working. I've tried everything, and nothing is working. What I want you to do then, is to be gentle, to be quiet, and to engage in their world, to engage in their activities, to show them that they are important to you. [00:22:14] And then the last day of that week, or maybe you need a couple weeks because things are a little rougher than a week. Go on a date and do something fun. And then share this idea of man. Can we just talk for a minute about what could be. [00:22:31] Not what we see now, but what could be. [00:22:36] So when Jacob and I did this, we didn't write sentences. We didn't write tricky statements. We just chose values. [00:22:45] We chose values that were going to be our driving force. We chose values that were going to be. Help steer us. [00:22:53] My Christian laughs at me when I say this, but we weren't typical parents. My kids didn't get punished much. He's like, yeah, right. [00:23:01] Okay, Christian maybe got punished more than the rest of the kids, but it was still very little too much. [00:23:10] So what we did was our values drove how we parented it, drove how we punished it, drove what was important to us. Everything couldn't be a fight. Can I get an amen? Like, you can't fight over everything. So you have to say, okay, I'm raising these humans. Or. Or I want to be this kind of human. So what is the most important thing in my life? Like, what do I really. When I look out into the future, who do I want them to be? Or who do I want to be? [00:23:47] And so when Jacob and I looked out into the future, we wanted God to be first in our life. [00:23:53] And we didn't choose like faith, we didn't choose like, go to church. We chose God is first. [00:24:01] And it was a driving force in our life. And so when the kids were going through hard times, we would always include God into it. And not in a like, well, what would God think about that kind of way, but it would be like, let's pray we've got someone who loves us and who can help us, so let's. [00:24:19] And we taught them that when hard stuff happened, God was first. Prayer was never like the last resort. It was always the first line of offense. [00:24:30] And so God first. And it wasn't something we took lightly. It was something we believed with our whole heart. God comes first. And so they had to see it in us. [00:24:45] They had to say, okay, if this is a value, I want to see it from mom and dad. And so it's an idea that actions speak louder than words. [00:24:54] And so when you are picking a value, pick something that hits at the core of what you really want. Because if you say something's of value, but no one ever sees you doing it, it's a lie. [00:25:08] And we can sniff out phony and fraud faster than anything. Teenagers will sniff sniff it out faster than anything. Ain't no one want that smell in their life. You know what I mean? And so you gotta pick a value that means something to you. It means something to your life where you're at. [00:25:27] The next thing that Jake and I chose was respect. [00:25:31] Because we wanted our kids to respect the people that were around. We wanted them to respect us, and we wanted them to know we respected them. [00:25:40] And so respect kind of housed other values for us. But at the heartbeat, it was a good shaping force for us for how we disciplined too. [00:25:51] You know, if you tell me you're going to be somewhere and you're not, it's disrespectful if you're lying. We're crossing the line of respect for each other here. And so respect was one of our values that was very important to us. And then I just didn't want to be a boring, church going girl. I wanted to have some fun. And I wanted our family to have moments of, like, togetherness and fun. And I wanted us to be together. So one of the values we chose was fun. And that was it. We chose three. [00:26:23] And we lived and breathed by it. Now, sometimes it was effective and sometimes we were dysfunctional. [00:26:29] That's reality. Sometimes things worked really great and sometimes we totally sucked at it. And the heartbeat, though, was those values created a vision for us that we could see. [00:26:42] Those values got us back on track time and time again. [00:26:47] Those values helped us create a family unit that now fun is just the norm. And we love to be together. And most Fridays we're hanging out together, we go on vacations together. It was a driving force for us. And so when you are looking at your life, what could be a driving force for you? [00:27:11] What could start to shape your home to make it a place you want to be? [00:27:18] And you're never too old for this. You never grow out of this. Remember, where there is no vision, the people die. You never reach a point where this isn't applicable. [00:27:31] So at the heartbeat, there are some questions you can ask yourself. And I'm so sorry I didn't put these on the notes, but I think they're helpful. [00:27:40] So if you are single, tweak this a little bit. But the idea is, what kind of home do I want? [00:27:47] What kind of home do I want? [00:27:51] When you get home, what do you want it to feel like? [00:27:56] If you're single, ask yourself, who do I want to be when I look out into the future? What values are important to me and who do I honestly want to be? [00:28:09] When you look out into the future, it's not just what kind of home you want, but what kind of family do you want? [00:28:18] And the third one is, what do you want to be remembered for? [00:28:23] What do you want to be known for? [00:28:26] My cousin called me the other day and she was in a really bad accident and her partner was in ICU and she had just broken her arm and broken ribs. And they have two twins that are 1 years old. [00:28:43] And she had called me like three days before the accident and she was like, I really, I want to. I want to work out how our family can be healthy. And she's like, I look at your family and I see how much you enjoy being around each other. And I was like, man, that was something we want to be known for, is that we love each other, that we are, we're loyal to each other, that we are there for one another. And so I was working this out with her. I was like, we're doing this sermon series. You're going to love it. And then they got an accident. So Jacob and I went to go help them and I took care of twin 1 year old girls and I said, thank you, Jesus. Mama's kids are old. [00:29:26] Okay, so what kind of home do you want. What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of family do you want? When you start shaping the vision, start packing for your future and start looking out and being realistic. If you're single, what kind of. What kind of non negotiables do you have for your partner? [00:29:48] What. What kind of values are you looking for? Because it will shape your future. [00:29:55] When I was reading the scripture, something caught me that I had never seen before. [00:30:01] And in Philippians 3, Paul gives you a list. And then it says, and the peace of God will be with you. [00:30:11] And then in Philippians 4, verse 9. Can we pull that verse back up? [00:30:19] In Philippians 4, verse 9, it says it ends with, the God of peace will be with you. [00:30:27] And it was fascinating to me that this word play was there. Like, why in the list right before it would it say the peace of God? And then in nine, it ends with the God of peace. [00:30:39] And dad said in the original Greek they would do that. They would switch words around so that they would emphasize something different. [00:30:47] And when I look at what they're emphasizing. Can we pull it up one more time? I'm sorry. Oh, it's up. [00:30:53] When I look at what they're emphasizing, that if you are thinking about what is good, if you have a vision of something better and honorable and good and pure, when you think about these things, when you practice them, when you put them in your life, it's not just the peace of God that you get. You get the fullness of God, you get God himself. And God offers peace, but it's something so much richer because you have the fullness of God in your corner. You have the fullness of God who is walking side by side by side with you in the moments of our deepest pain. You have a God of peace who is offering to you something so much more beautiful than you have right now. He's offering you a hope of what something better could be. And when we have a hope and a vision for something better, our lives are changed. When I'm walking with God, the God of peace in my family, my home feels healthy. My home feels more alive. My home feels like a place I want to be. When I'm personally walking with God side by side, and the God of peace is with me, I'm drawing from his strength instead of having to carry it on my own. When the God of peace is walking alongside of me, I'm growing in character. I'm growing to be more like Jesus Christ. And I'm way more proud of the girl that I am. [00:32:27] When we look to the end of this verse, and it says, okay, think about these things, practice them day by day, and the God of peace will be with you. He's offering you something better. [00:32:42] At the end of this book, Stephen Covey tells a story. [00:32:48] And I don't know where your relationships are at. [00:32:53] I don't know if they're healthy and strong, and you're like, old news. Sarah, I've been doing this. [00:32:59] I don't know if you've got some really hard relationships in your family, but I want to talk to those of you who do have very hard relationships just for a minute. [00:33:14] Steven said that his good friend came to him and said, my son is toxic. [00:33:22] He is just running wild. He doesn't listen to us. He has no respect for us, and he's affecting everybody in the house. [00:33:31] And he's like, I have literally tried everything I know to do, and I'm done. I don't know what else to do. [00:33:40] And Stephen said, why don't you come to a class? He was going through a class that had these seven principles in it, and the principle that they were on was this idea of. [00:33:53] It's called seek first to understand, then to be understood. [00:34:01] You seek first to understand, then to be understood. [00:34:06] And he said, I think if I had to guess, your son probably feels very misunderstood. [00:34:16] And so the dad was friends with Stephen, and he trusted him. And he's like, I'm in. I want this relationship to work. I don't know what else to do. I'm in. I'm gonna go to this class. So for several weeks, he went to this class, and they talked about really seeking first to understand. [00:34:31] And the dad goes home, and he says, son, I think he came in the room his son was sitting in. His son got up and left. Then he came in and turned off the TV just to be a jerk, and left. [00:34:46] Like, that's what his dad was dealing with. And he said, son, I really am trying. I want to understand you better. [00:34:55] And the son was so hurt and so enraged, and he was like, you have never understood me. And he just left. [00:35:03] And the dad talks to Stephen, and he's like, I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to jump on him and tackle him and be like, do you know what I'm trying to do? I want to understand you better. And you're still acting like a jerk. [00:35:15] And Stephen's like, do you hear your tone? He's like, do you hear the underlying anger? [00:35:22] He's like, you don't really want to understand your son. You want your son to change. [00:35:29] And he was like, well, if he could change, he doesn't care about how I feel. And he's like, why don't you keep coming to the classes? [00:35:36] And let's just see. Because he said, until you. When you really understand that it's not about what your child's going to do, when you really understand it's not about if they change their behavior or not, when you really understand that it's just the right thing to do, then you're going to really get it. [00:35:57] And so he went to this class for months, and he understood the principle, but it started to seep into his soul. The encouragement of Stephen started getting to him. [00:36:09] And he tried again with his son, and he's like, stephen, I'm gonna try again. And Stephen's like, don't do it unless you're ready for him to test you. Like, he's gonna test. Are you serious or not? And he said, I don't care if he tests me or not. I really want to understand him. And so he goes to the son that night and he says, son, I just. I love you, and I really want to understand. [00:36:32] And it was the same thing. The son was angry, and he was like, you don't care. You've never cared. You don't understand me. And he got up to leave, and the dad, he was feeling a certain way because, like, the night before, he had, like, embarrassed him in front of his friends. [00:36:47] And he felt it. The dad felt it, like I embarrassed him. And so the dad said, okay, before you leave, I just want to say I'm sorry that I embarrassed you in front of your friends. It's like the dad was actually seeing it from his point of view. Like, he was really understanding. And the son turned around, and with tears in his eyes, he's like, you embarrassed me so bad. [00:37:12] And this time, the dad said it was nothing that was taught in the class. It was no encouragement that Stephen gave him. The way that his son broke down and cried broke something open in his heart. [00:37:28] It broke open this door of, like, okay, my son cares. He cares. And him and his son wept together. And Stephen said, I'm so incredibly sorry. I want to be better for you. [00:37:41] And in the book, it says that they stayed up, like, almost all night long. For the first time in their entire life, the dad sought to understand the son. Son. [00:37:53] And so in this Family Matter series, there are going to be relationships that feel impossible. There are going to be relationships that feel hard. [00:38:04] But when you seek to understand, when you seek to love above all else. And not just to be justified, not just to be right, not just to change the situation. But when you truly seek to to understand, you will crack something open. [00:38:23] And I want you to remember the God of peace is with you. [00:38:30] It's not just his peace. It is the God of peace. It is the totality of God is with you. And you are not alone. [00:38:39] So I want you to dream dreams Church. I want you to envision a beautiful life of what could possibly be. In James 1:5, it says, if any of you lack wisdom, you should ask God who gives it generously to all without finding fault. And it will be given to you. If you don't even know what values are important to you or you don't know how to get this started. Seek God. Ask him for wisdom. Ask him for a vision of what could be. Ask him to help you see what you can't see right now. Ask him to help you dream of who he wants wants you to be, of what your family could be. Ask him to partner with you. Because the God of all peace is by your side. Let's pray. [00:39:26] Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that your truth will speak louder, that you will start to bring a vision in us of beauty, of fun, of adventure, of a life with you. [00:39:39] I pray, Father, for those that are missing the vision that you help them, that you will give them wisdom to see what they are not able to see. I pray you inspire their hearts and minds to dream of what could be. And then I pray they put values in their life that will drive it, that they will think about it, that it will be something that is honorable and it will be true. [00:40:01] And then I pray that they will practice it day in and day out and in all ways. They will feel you, the totality of your mighty love, your mighty grace, your mighty mercy, and your mighty peace. Fill us with who you are. In your son's name we pray. Amen.